I want to stick my p in your. b.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We need to get me chipped asap
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
