everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
