after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
