Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
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He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
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He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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