I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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