the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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