When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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