Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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