Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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