I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If I die, sorry about rent.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
