Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
