best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I said "one day" and that day is not today
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
