thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
