I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
