Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
