tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize