I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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