Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dignity is for republicans.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
