I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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