Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
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You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
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He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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