Where is the hickey?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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