pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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