On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
