singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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