His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize