Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
