Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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