That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
