So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
