Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
