OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
