i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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