he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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