i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize