I am in a vortex of obligation.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
