he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I deserve this hangover.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
