Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
