i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
