is your mom at the bar?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
