I want to have your abortion
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
