i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
