Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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