I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
