I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
