Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I party with great urgency now.
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