You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
