So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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