we're blogging at a bar
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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