The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
