I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize