lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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