Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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