Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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