Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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