so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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