WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
