I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
