Small penises have feelings too.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Send help, water and tortillas.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
