We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
