he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
