Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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