I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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